New (First Time) Parent?

I am "DADDY" to 10 children. I started out just as grossly inexperienced as anybody. I really am amazed that ANY BABIES survive with first-time parents. 

FEW people in our society experience beforehand anything close to the demands that a NEW BABY makes.

People who are lucky(?) enough to grow up having to MILK A COW know something about it. A milk cow DEMANDS that you milk her at least 2 REGULAR times a day- Like 6am and 6pm. No social event is so important, nor the weather so bad, nor your personal illness on a particular day- matters to the cow. That's one reason why just about NOBODY will own a family milk cow nowadays.

A new baby is worse- MUCH WORSE. There is no regular schedule that a screaming demand might be made. It doesn't care how deathly ill you are. It doesn't care if you haven't gotten 3 hours sleep in a week. It has a "noise hole" that produces hair-raising screams that absolutely DRIVE YOU NUTS! (Believe it or not, you get used to it and after a couple kids, you don't even hear it anymore)

See: Tears for Trauma: Birth Trauma, Crying, and Child Abuse

Where in the world does the romantic notion of "how wonderful it will be to start a family" come from?  

It must be hormones or plain stupidity, because it's not a logical, well thought-out idea. Changing a gooey, smelly diaper never seemed very romantic to me!

New parents simply HAVE TO have experienced help once in a while. New parents ESPECIALLY HAVE TO HAVE A BREAK ONCE IN A WHILE. Grandmothers or other female relatives are indispensable. Ladies from your church can be helpful too.

If you're feeling helpless and you "CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE", it doesn't take a genius to figure out that shaking or slapping a little baby and screaming "SHUT UP" does any good. They haven't developed the brain function equal to a CAT yet! If you shake and slap a cat while screaming at it, it will probably claw you.

BIT OF ADVICE FROM AN OLD DAD:

• If you have reached a "Breaking Point", gently put the baby ON THE FLOOR and WALK AWAY.

• Don't worry- the baby can scream just as well without you. As long as it's screaming, it is still alive.

• Walk far enough away that the noise doesn't bother you. Think of pleasant things for a few minutes. Regroup your thoughts, get your mind cleared,

• THEN GO FIX THE PROBLEM

THE USUAL PROBLEMS:

1. Dirty Diaper? Clean it up (don't need/want diaper rash!)

2. Diaper Rash? Use the pre-moistened diaper wipes to clean the baby's skin before putting a new diaper on. A & D Ointment works well too, because it is water proof and keeps the caustic "diaper juices" from getting through to the baby's skin.

3. Hungry? Feed it! The breast is best. Have you ever tasted formula? Yuck! Some of it causes all kinds of stomach problems, like Colic.

4. Colic? Boil an onion (no, I'm not kidding) and put the COOLED DOWN onion water in a bottle (a baby actually likes this swill). The baby will start belching and then go to sleep. As effective or MORE EFFECTIVE than the stuff you can buy! (The boiled onion goes into YOUR meal). If are feeding formula, try several type/brands until you find one that does agree with the baby. Taste it yourself- if it tastes rotten to you, it tastes rotten to the baby too. In fact, TASTE is one of the few BRAIN FUNCTIONS your baby has right now. Sometimes, the "Best Brand Name" formula has the most rotten taste!

5. Screaming for no obvious reason at all? May be Ear Infection or Teething. Some babies just do scream for no reason. I've had two of those sweethearts.

Then sit down and just hold your little baby and cuddle it. Right now, you may hate it more than anything in the world. But it didn't ask to be born. Maybe you didn't even WANT IT. It needs to be loved ANYWAY. It is not a pet- it is a little version of YOU.

This poor, miserable, helpless, little baby is COMPLETELY depending on YOU, even for life itself.

It can grow up to be your best friend or your very worst enemy. When you get OLD, YOU may be COMPLETELY DEPENDING ON HIM OR HER- even for life itself.

I made up my mind to be the best daddy I could possibly be.

Don't waste time or energy feeling guilty, even if you did something pretty stupid. Kids aren't nearly as easy to "damage" as current New Age drivel insists. Kids forgive your mistakes, because they love you. (Yes, even teenagers). If parents are supposed to be perfect, we would be BORN that way. No, we're all just human with a little instinct of compassion and love for "cute little things". We learn how to be a "mommie" or "daddy" as we go along.

If you are trying to do good and right, and you do LEARN to really LOVE, it will be OK. There are MUCH MORE SERIOUS THREATS (the New Age "child savers") to your child's successful outcome than YOUR occasional mistakes.

I survived, and I am proud to report my earliest 4 babies are (one in college and a boy and a girl in the Navy) and one is already working.  All in all, they are turning out pretty well adjusted, responsible, and capable of competing and surviving in this rotten world.