PARENT TRAINING

As an integral part of the usual case, you will be offered(!) "parent training". This is presented as part of the contingent "hostage release" and either implied as being "possibly helpful" or expressly stated as a "requirement" (See Kidnapping) for getting yourself and child(ren) out of the system.

You probably will be REQUIRED to attend "sessions" with bogus Mental Health "counselors" and/or "parenting classes". They will make you want to NEVER hear the word "ISSUES" again. About all you get here is self-righteous sermons from people who know nothing but the current New-Age parenting drivel because these people are just goofy old secular humanist "hippie retreads" who probably vote the Democratic Socialist ticket. In other words, morons.  

We have codified a NEW Disorder for these people- Old Dysfunctional Hippie Disorder (ODHD)

Your "counselors" will probably be CHILDLESS, as well as having been the spoiled "single child" in their own family (which has helped them to remain CLUELESS). Pointing these facts out to your "counselors" won't earn you any extra points, so don't. Many of the people you run into will have New-Age hyphenated last names, and yes- they have an agenda. Don't get into a discussion of morals with these people, or you might find out something YOU REALLY DON'T CARE TO KNOW and have to hide EVEN MORE disrespect for them. (I did ask my sham "counselors", "Jane Doe-Dumb" and "Paul Even-Dumber" what would happen if they had kids who "fell in luv" and got married- would they hyphenate ALL FOUR names together or what? They didn't think that was funny and took it as an insult- which it most certainly was intended to be. I have other insults for them too.)

Nobody you deal with in this organization can be trusted.

The "counselors" are reporting back to the CPS their opinion of you and your "progress". If you reveal a tidbit the CPS can use, they will use it. (You didn't assume you had professional client confidentiality, did you?)  There is no point in arguing with these people. It will only look bad for you. You are expected to "see the light" and convert to their stomach-turning life view. The quicker and more sincerely, the better.

(It is kind of fun to politely DEBATE with these drones, because they are incapable of sound LOGIC. But hey, give them a break- they are trying very hard to keep you from realizing how vapid they truly are. (An INTELLIGENT person would get a REAL JOB instead of this sick SOAP OPERA).

If you are Christian, you can expect to have everything you believe attacked and belittled as ARCHAIC (old and useless in a modern "enlightened" society). Especially DO NOT MISQUOTE the Bible with "spare the rod and spoil the child". Don't bother discussing your beliefs and save yourself from having to attend more sessions. YOU DO NOT have any "Freedom of Religion" with these people. They are going to cram their counterfeit parenting ideology down your throat. That's the AGENDA.

If you have read George Orwell's 1984, these sessions will be dé·jà vu.

After the cursory lesson on "Time Outs" and "Chair Sitting", you will "brainstorm" (NOTE- They want YOU to think of them, because THEY DON'T HAVE ANY) ideas to deal with the family situations you can suggest. 

Most of the scenarios are dream world impossible. 

DON'T WORRY! The most STUPID "responses" are the ones they like best! (If you kids can't stop fighting over the TV, we'll just have to get another TV!)

Be (or at least PRETEND to be) engaged, committed, and enthusiastic about applying your "new found" parenting skills! That's what they're looking for, and THE WAY OUT.

  MAKE VERY, VERY SURE YOU GET THE 
  CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION 
Make copies, and MAKE SURE the certificates are put into your records!
(one of their favorite tricks is to "lose" these certificates and MAKE YOU TAKE THE CLASS OVER)

It's Time to STOP PARENT ABUSE!