<SATIRE.  Or is it?>

New Eyes on Families
December 12, 2009


A Predator B

An unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) has taken center stage in efforts by the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) to more effectively patrol US families—and is having an impact on all the agency's plans for deploying integrated surveillance technology.

The UAV in question, a Predator B, made by General Atomics Aeronautical Systems Inc., San Diego, Calif., is the centerpiece of DHHS Secure Families Initiative (SFI), announced by Secretary Janet Napolitano (old commie social worker). The five-year plan aims to encourage spoiled rotten brats and better enforce parent's compliance with Dr Spock.

"We will address all aspects of the family freedom problem across the board deterrence, detection, response, apprehension, detention and removal," Napolitano said in remarks at a forum in the District of Corruption. "The goal of SFI is to transform the way family issues have been viewed. We will address the challenges in each of these areas with an integrated mix of increased staffing, new technology and enhanced infrastructure investment, as well as a new regime of regulations and legislative proposals."

SFI will add more Family Patrol agents, but it will also greatly expand the technology at their disposal. Parts of the plan call for expanding the use of UAVs and new detection technology across DHHS, picking up on the concept of the America's Shield Initiative (ASI), formerly a program managed exclusively by the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agency.

SFI would also expand removal capabilities to stop the practice of "catch and release" for children, add additional physical security in homes to reduce spankings and increase the enforcement of the whims of CPS agents, including a crackdown on worksites that employ parents.

</SATIRE>

 

Bookmark and Share