Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:41:14 -0800 (PST)
Foster Care – The beginning of a child’s trouble
By James Raub

On Friday March 7th, 2008 I turned into driveway of the Oaks Group Home in Baton Rouge, La.  I sat in my SUV for a few minutes to take in the scenery of the Oaks Group home, and its neighborhood.  I noticed that architecture was old and must have been remodeled several times throughout the ages.  

After I knocked on the door I introduced myself as I was led through then den and into the dining room.  I was within 10 feet of the living room where I observed 3 sofas arranged in a U shape.  Young boys filled the sofas and all began to stare at me.

In the middle arose my new foster child, Kevin, whom I met during a 20 minutes interview two days before.  This young, small boy arose slowly made his way to me trying to smile.  I could sense how nervous he was.  This boy was sitting and eagerly waiting with his backpack on to leave the group home with me, a man he didn’t know.  But of course Kevin, who was 10 at the time, did not have a visitor during his 18 month tenure so maybe even a stranger pleased him.

As I was exiting the group home I was given 8 different medications for this Kevin and a chart to document the time medications was taken.   Astounded by the medications because the Office of Community Services failed to mention any medical conditions when I agreed to take Kevin for weekend trials.  If weekends went well I would foster the child until adoption.

On our way home for Kevin’s first weekend visit to my home in Morganza there was very little conversation until last 15 minutes of our drive home to Morganza.  My foster child, Kevin, kept his head down most of the ride home.  Kevin noticed my bottle of Calvin Klein cologne in my SUV console.  This sparked our first conversation as Kevin looked at me with a big smile and said “That’s my brother’s name but only spelled with a K.” 

After Kevin explained that his brother’s name was Kalvin I started to ask question about the family.  I asked where Kalvin was and Kevin said “He is in Lake Charles”.   He then told me he has not seen his 8 year old brother in 9 months.   I felt so heartbroken to know that his brother was only 2 hours away and their relationship was fading.  My thoughts were ‘How could OCS, the very people whom separated them form the parents not drive 2 hour to let these boys visit?  Is the fate of all foster children?”

After several weeks of request through Baton Rouge OCS for sibling visits, the emailed response was “Lake Charles OCS will not respond”.  For a quicker response and for answers I contacted Lake Charles directly.  Being persistent Kevin and his brother did make a few visits although I had to drive to Lake Charles for this to occur.

June 13, 2009  Kevin had his 12th birthday and the little brother was able to an over nights stay for this event.  This would be the 1st over stay the boys had in several years; and no holidays have been spent together in nearly 4 years.  I had excellent video's of the boys weekend together.  After visits the younger brother’s behavior becomes extreme because he longs to be reunited with Kevin; therefore, bringing to an end all visitation and communication.

When a child is tossed to multiple homes he/she develops Reactive Attachment Disorder.  RDA, among other disorders, is developed within the foster care system and this is what the young brother has after 9 homes.  He refuses to attach because he longs to be with his brother.

Two years since bringing Kevin into my home, he has now been adopted, and I still have not received one phone call proposing a sibling visit. I still wonder “How could the DSS, the system that’s supposed to protect, provide so much neglect? 

Is this the fate of all foster children?”

You may wonder why I struggle with the system, but Kevin came to my house with only a bag of clothes to his name, stripped of all family members, and lay his head on my shoulder crying, missing his brother, and feeling he had failed to protect him.

To alleviate Kevin’s RDA, anxiety and such I consoled him had assured him I will fight his battles and he could now relax.   

As of now, no sibling visits will be scheduled, phone calls to Lake Charles OCS have not been returned as I attempt one last visit before the younger brother is adopted by a family in Westlake.  I may not have been successful in this attempt, but there are thousands of other foster children need relief from the system…and my journey continues

James Raub


AmericanPress.com in Lake Charles is supposed to publish this article next week.