Quotes from 25 year's experience

"If it wasn't for heavy equipment, we wouldn't need cusswords"

"I can cuss in 3 languages, but I have found situations I didn't have words to describe my true opinion"

"Everything will be clearer to you when you realize that they built it to SELL."

"If a momma has any idea her little boy might grow up to be a heavy equipment mechanic...There's no reason to bother potty-training him"

"If management tries to pin you down on when you might have it back together... Never, never commit on a date, because they'll hold you to it even if the parts haven't showed up yet!

"Did you know that you have 14 knuckles on each hand? The only reason I know is because I've had all 28 of them peeled in the same week!"

"Try making a Comp Claim...Just try it! The office-type wussies won't believe a word you say... because they can't believe ANYBODY would do that to himself!"

"Doesn't your heart just bleed for those poor office workers that have carpal tunnel?"

"Juries have awarded people millions in damages for pain and mental anguish. Often, for less pain and mental anguish than a Heavy Equipment Mechanic endures every day for $15 an hour!"

"Do you know what an autocratic manager is? He's the guy who doesn't know anything, solves everything with a temper tantrum, and thinks you're the stupidest thing that ever lived for working in such a nasty occupation."

AND MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES:

"You can't make a steak out of a turd, no matter how much A1 sauce you use".

"Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat."